


All Our Knowledge

by zarabithia



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-11
Updated: 2007-10-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 23:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14924699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: After Dick's death, both of his daughters mourn him.





	All Our Knowledge

With Mar'i being a flyer and a trained Bat - and no, Lian really didn't have any bitterness left over from the fact that Dick had gone on to have a daughter he'd trained the way she'd always figured he'd train her, though it had taken her a while to let go of that particular lingering bitterness - there were few places that Lian could go to be alone where Mar'i wouldn't immediately find her. Being the Titan leader didn't seem to have any sway in getting Mar'i to actually leave her alone, unfortunately, so the best Lian could do was be thankful that it was Mar'i who usually sought her out, instead of Iris, Jai, or Cerdian. Being raised a Bat had both its privileges and its crippling emotional disabilities, and Mar'i recognized the ones that Dick Grayson had helped to build in Lian in those five brief years before he'd gone away, in ways that the rest of Lian's teammates could not.

The day of Dick Grayson's funeral, Lian succumbed to the Bat instinct to mourn, seeking refuge on the rooftop of a rundown waterfront warehouse that continued to haunt her dreams. She expected that after the pleasantries were over,Mar'i would find her once again, and it was something Lian dreaded. Today was a day she truly longed to be alone, so much so that she could not bear to attend the funeral, even if it meant giving the support that Lian knew her father would need.

She supposed that made her a terrible daughter, but Lian simply added that to an impressive list of things she knew she needed to feel guilty about.

Mar'i was a lot later than Lian figured she'd be, not appearing until the sun had already began to set. When she did show up, she merely hovered in the sky for a moment, staring down at her best friend and the flowers that Lian had chosen from Aunt Dinah's shop, but had been unable to force herself to deliver.

Lian wondered if Mar'i hated her for not being there for _her_ , too. A good friend would have been; a good teammate would have known it was her duty to lend strength to a companion lacking it.

More proof she was a selfish human being, Lian figured.

After a pause, Mar'i sat down on the roof next to the flowers. Mar'i picked the bouquet up, examining petals long since dried by the afternoon sun. The light blue petals clashed against the dark purple of Mar'i's costume, and Lian winced as the flowers crumpled in her friend's hand.

"You were planning on attending?" Mar'i asked, and for the first time since Nightstar joined their team, Lian realized just how young she really was. The skill and power kept that fact well hidden, but the softness of Mar'i's question forced Lian to acknowledge that the woman beside her was not yet an adult by Earth standards, and yet had lost both her parents. Technically, Lian still had both of hers.

All she'd ever lost was _Uncle_ Nightwing.

"Yes," Lian answered. "I made it two blocks from Aunt Dinah's shop before I realized I couldn't." Sitting beside Dick Grayson's _daughter_ , Lian knew how selfish that must sound.

"I wish you would have," Mar'i said, her voice even more quiet than it had been. "Your father -"

"I know." Lian closed her eyes, remembering the way her dad's voice had trembled on the phone when he'd broken the news. All those years, and he still hadn't let go.

Lian wondered if that explained why she couldn't.

"It was a huge funeral," Mar'i continued. "So many Titans...I didn't recognize most of them." Mar'i bit her lip, and Lian focused her attention on the blue flower dust coating Mar'i's hand so that she could keep the tears internal.

Her family. Her _Titan_ family that she'd always blamed Dick Grayson for breaking apart...the Titan family she wanted back together more than anything...the Titan family that would never have let her be held captive in the warehouse below her...the Titan family Tanner never would have messed with.

She'd wanted them back together so much, and only a funeral could achieve that goal.

"I probably would have," Lian admitted.

Mar'i nodded her head in agreement. "Probably. A lot of them asked about you."

"What did you tell them?"

"That you were raised to believe death was a private matter." Mar'i glanced over at her and leaned back on one strong hand, balancing the flowers on her lap with the other. "I wasn't sure whether or not I'd actually find you in mourning."

Lian dug her nails into her knees as the words registered. "Of course I'm mourning. He was my -" _my father too, once_. " - My favorite uncle."

"You were his favorite niece," Mar'i related, and the Lian wondered if the fatal feel of Deathstroke's blade ramming into Nightwing's gut had hurt him as bad as his daughter's words hurt her. "Our home was always surrounded by pictures of you and your father, even when Mom was still alive. For every picture of me, he had two of you."

Lian bit hard on the inside of her cheek. "I never knew that," she said softly.

Mar'i nodded. "All you knew was that he left you. He never blamed you for hating him for that."

"I didn't hate him," Lian corrected. "I never hated him. _Ever._ " She'd wanted to, but she was Arrow enough never to let go, no matter how much grief it would have saved her in the long run.

But her favorite uncle had still died thinking that she hated him.

"In that case...there's a lot of items at home that you might want. Trinkets you and Uncle Roy bought, pictures of the three of you together...old, warn pictures drawn by 'Lian Harper, age 4.' There's even a worn out teddy bear that I know never belonged to me,"Mar'i answered. "We can pick them up together."

"I can't. Not ...not yet. I need some time."

"Sure. Whenever you're ready, we'll go." Mar'i sighed and sat up, placing a hand on Lian's shoulder. "But if you think that I'm leaving you alone here - especially when I don't even know why you picked this particular forsaken spot - you're mistaken."

"It was Tanner's headquarters," Lian answered. She didn't need to explain who Tanner was. The worst part about being a Titan child was having so many people know your childhood like an open book.

"...And you chose to come here today because...?"

"Because it's the day I started being angry at him," Lian answered simply. "It's the day I started blaming him...for all sorts of things that I never got over."

"I blamed him too," Mar'i reminded, stroking a piece of hair that Lian had long since dyed to match Dart's uniform behind her ear. "For Mom's death. For the longest time. I shouldn't have. It wasn't his fault. But I still blamed him anyway."

"You had a chance to make up. I threw my chances away."

"Then you'll just have to remember that he understood why you wouldn't stop being angry with him."

"Dad used to tell me he did it for my own good." Lian snorted bitterly. "Is that why he pulled away from you, after your Mom died? For your own good? Because I have to say that's a pretty shitty reason."

Mar'i shrugged lightly. "Parents do crappy things all the time that's supposed to be for the sake of their children, Lian. Walking away from that kid is probably the shittiest. It took Dad a while to realize it, and by the time he did, you were old enough to make the choice not to ... allow him the chance to apologize."

"He wasn't supposed to die yet," Lian said softly. "I wasn't done..." Lian trailed off as her voice broke. Swallowing hard, she forced herself to finish the sentence. "I wasn't done being angry with him," she admitted.Mar'i reached over to caress Lian's face in response, and Lian felt her resolve crumble like the petal's Mar'i held in her other hand.

"You wanted to punish him for leaving you," Mar'i guessed.

Lian nodded, unable to resist as Mar'i pulled her close. The quiver didn't have time to get in the way before it was removed. "I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt us...the way he hurt _me_ ," Lian corrected. "He never...he never even told us goodbye."

"Then perhaps you are more his daughter than even he ever suspected. For you didn't tell him goodbye, either." The tone made  it clear that Mar'i didn't mean to be cruel. When she stood up and offered her hand to Lian, there was friendship in that gesture as well. "Perhaps it is time you corrected the mistake both of you made and say goodbye."

Lian knew it was too late, but...she owed the man that much, didn't she?

"Unless, of course, you still hold a grudge," Mar'i commented, at Lian's hesitation.

"No. The time for those are over." Lian stood, her feet as shaky today as they had been all those years ago when the Outsiders had rescued her. She reached forward and took the flowers from Mar'i's grasp. "Do you think he would have liked them?" Lian had picked them because they were the same shade of blue as the first Nightwing costume, the one in which Dick Grayson had swooped in and rescued her from her mother in.

"I think he would have loved them," Mar'i responded, lifting Lian into the air.

Lian turned her head and watched the warehouse slowly fade from view.

With Mar'i holding one hand, and the wilted flowers in Lian's other, neither hand was free to brush aside the tears that had no choice but to flow freely down Lian's cheeks.


End file.
